They say that one should not have high standards in order for one to find true love. They say that no one is perfect, so “lower your standards,” and look around. But then, this confuses me. And somehow, I don’t believe it. Somehow, I think that one should maintain a standard within himself or herself to find the one that he or she actually desires. BUT, again, setting our standards should be in accordance to our truest desires, not what we “want” or “need.”
My single life has not been easy. I have my shares of struggles, of feeling alone, of nobody wanting me or even want to be with me. I have my own share of insecurities too (knowing that I have lived most of my prime years as a missionary in different countries). Life has its own ways of letting me know, I am not perfect or capable enough of what I want to be. Also, life has its own ways of letting me know, that I am perfect for my real purpose, for my real desire and I am created this way because if I use my life in the way it was created, I will be perfectly perfecting my purpose.
And so, one day I was reading Brant Pitre’s book Jesus the Bridegroom as part of my Lenten reflection.. and I came to a part when he was explaining the relationship of Jesus’ passion to a wedding feast and quotes St. John Chrysostom’s homily on Ephesians:
It caught me. It caught me deep.
Pay attention to love’s high standards. (I repeat) Pay attention to love’s high standards.
Even love has standards. And not just any standard. Love has a high standard.
This homily was for husbands and wives, but I think it won’t hurt us if we use it for every relationship that we have, with our families, with our friends, with our workmates or with the people we chose to spend our lives with.
Even if you must offer your life for her, you must not refuse.
This made me go back to my own standards. Did I set it high enough? With what I deserve or better yet, with what God, who created my body and soul deserved?
When praying for a partner, a husband, am I setting my standards high enough? Is my list worthy enough in finding true love? Is it worthy for love’s high standards? Am I clinging to the whines of the world that I forget God’s desire for me? For the perfection of me?
When living and dealing with people, am I being in love? Is my standard of living high enough for love? Am I worrying with the problems of the world rather than worry on how I live in accordance to the plan of God for me? Am I too enveloped with my own needs that I forgot the needs of others?
Even if you suffer all this, you have still not done as much as Christ has done for the church.
Now what is your standard? Is it high enough for love?
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