The other day I was feeling as emotional as I could ever be. Blame it to women’s madness and life’s thoughts and emotional vent every time. My mind wants to blow with all those thoughts about the future. Where would I go? What would I be in 2 years or so? Where is life taking me? Has my journey been enough for me? Or I need to go out and see the world more?
There are times that I would just want to sit by the window and watch the wind blow those trees. The wind’s strength and the tree’s sturdiness is not giving up on each other. It keeps blowing while the other one goes with it but still remains on ground. How can I remain on ground when I want the wind to blow me? How can I take on my desire somewhere if someone and something is keeping me on ground?
It’s kind of complicated isn’t it?
There are too many what ifs that overshadows me. That overwhelms me. That captures me.
And I find that I am afraid.
And then I found out that I am terribly wrong.
I have been a slave to my what ifs, to my thoughts, to my own control and to my own desires. Yes, even if I knew that God desires more for my heart and that I should keep on being patient.
But being patient is most of the time the hardest. Waiting is the hardest. Waiting for nothing is the hardest.
I have been a slave to my own fears that I have to stop it.
God just smacked me in the face. He just told me straightforward… through a movie, a song, and through a friend in one day.
“With Me, there are NO what ifs.”
“With Me, you just need to learn how to let go.”
“Let Me have control.”
“I am telling you something, so listen.”
“Listen hard and wait.”
We always had the tendency to control our lives and even forgot how to let it go. I forgot how to raise my hands in surrender. I forgot that my life is not mine. I forgot that even my desires are not mine. Even my insecurities doesn’t belong to me. I don’t need to look around, I just need to look into my heart.
What is God telling me? I always fight with God, actually. I tell Him everything but I always say no, when He says,
“Let go, let me.”
“And your what ifs are just your fears overshadowing you, let Me handle it.”
Oh Jesus, my man, it’s hard to wait. I call on St. Joseph to tell me how to wait patiently. My journey to my heart’s desire is not over yet and I just have to let go of that fear, of that control and of that impatience.
Stop overthinking and remain in His love.
Your journey too might be full of waiting, but together with me, let us wait patiently for God’s will to manifest in our lives. Allow every opportunity in life to be God’s blessing to you and in every turn of your journey, just remember that He is holding your hand. And just let go of what you feel inside of you. Let us use our emotions to glorify Him. Shift channels to His great, great love.
And I’m sure, very very sure, once the waiting is done, we will be fully alive.
“I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen.”
― A.A. Milne